Football?

[Earl Smith]

Not sure Im allowed to mention the world cup on here.
Im not a football fan, never seen what the fuss is about.

A neighbour told me this over the weekend.
He said he had read that the English team want to bring themselves up to the same standard as the world champions.
Well, it seems that they have managed that. Spain are going home and so are England.

[Justin]

I heard that Rooney and the coach were chatting, Rooney "Whereabouts do you want me boss, left side, over on the right...in the middle?" "Anywhere Wayne" replies the Coach..."Just get on the bloody plane!!!"

[RogerC]

Just managed to 'endure' 10 minutes of Engaland/Costa Rica ............two yellow cards to England, a couple of career threatening (not) injuries where they got up after 30 seconds of theatrics and the commentator (for that read to55er) saying about one writhing in agony and miraculously getting up and playing on............."it's good to see they have revived him"....................."REVIVED HIM"?????........he wasn't bloody dead!!!!!...he wasn't even injured..........he's an actor!!!!....a cheat!!!!

You might have guessed why I only managed to endure 10 minutes.......................never again.

[Quinsfan]

The England team have visited an orphanage in Rio Janeiro.
"Seeing those faces with damp eyes and a look of despair was upsetting"
says Pedro aged 5.

[funkey monkey]

Do you want me to get all your coats because if you relied on laughs to eat then you need Comic Relief to send you food parcels?

Now that made me laugh! I'll get my coat along with yours.